The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2024 #02

Look, video game films aren’t great at the best of times and Double Dragon doesn’t do much to turn that argument around. But its alright, aiming towards the more fantasy end of the Double Dragon spectrum but not ending up as good as the cartoon.

Also, I just have to highlight the ballsiness of the Legend scheduler to follow this up with five episodes of T J Hooker. Just the sheer brass balls of that is to be celebrated

The 90s remake tends to be the one that pops up all the time during the Christmas season, but thats only because there was an original to remake in the first place. And very good it is as well, being more of a romp than the later film.

If watching Home Alone doesn’t satiate your urge for blood curdling violence then there’s always Baby’s Day Out which will feed that hunger for a child giving life changing injuries to criminals. You can then follow that up with a mid-tier Rock film and a banging musical. Seriously though, that baby is more violent than Goodfellas I swear

Now here’s a treat of a film, almost designed to be seen mid-afternoon on a random TV channel during the school holidays or Christmas or something. Its a great kids adventure film with great effects and a great team of characters. Its a crime it wasn’t more successful than it was but hopefully more people will find it over the years

Cracking music here, and one of the last of the proper Hollywood period. 1968 is just before everything changes and Hollywood becomes New Hollywood for a while before 80s Hollywood takes over. Anyways, as previously confirmed its a cracker

It goes without saying that Lazenby gets a bad wrap for his one go Bond rodeo. This is a bit of a shame as he’s otherwise a good fit in the role, a little too Connery but at least deserved another go at the role to find his own way in it. Overall a great Bond film despite it feeling like a misstep.

A good run of films here; Deck The Halls is a fun film saved by the cast, then you have Home Alone 2 which everyone knows is the superior Home Alone film. Then a good John Hughes film and the last of the Pitch Perfect trilogy which again isn’t the best of the series but still good. So if you’re going to watch one make it Home Alone 2 but the rest are still worth your time

Yeah, it’s not the best but even mid-tier Aardman is still really good. This was just before they went down the CGI route which gave us okay films, but nothing in the Aardman canon hits like their claymation stuff. This isn’t quite the best of Wallace and Gromit but has some great moments especially with the ancillary characters that don’t normally get that much time to shine

We had the sequel/remake/whatever earlier this year so thats more than enough of an excuse to get the old one dusted off and watched again. Keep an eye out for the CG flying cow!

When you’re talking about TV over the Christmas period you have to include the World’s Strongest Man. You just have to, it’s almost a law that this a) needs to be scheduled on one of the TV channels and b) you need to get it watched. Big burly lads lifting heavy things, or pulling heavy things or (if we’re lucky) throwing heavy things? Get it on the season record all the way up to the New Year

Yeah, I know but funny is funny yeah? Plus sure there will be some good recipe tips in amongst the double entendres

Welcome to the Queen fest! The highlight here is undoubtedly the Wembley Stadium concert; the band at their pomp rocking a stadium with songs of nuclear grade power. The two follow up shows should be good as well, the problem tends to be when they focus on the other less interesting (read: boring) bandmates which was half the trouble with Bohemian Rhapsody if you ask me

Now when you hear the folks say “oh that’s not really a Christmas film” they are actually talking about Die Hard 2; this film is also set on Christmas Eve but that doesn’t make any difference to the plot or anything, not like with the first film. The first Die Hard is essentially a festive tale of a man rediscovering the love of his family, whilst taking down a load of Grinch like Terrorists. Die Hard 2, whilst having some decent action, is just that; a decent action film that could have been set at anytime of the year with any other character. Still, got to love the Dennis Franz cameo!

Midnight is clear the best time to start watching this extravagant directors cut of Apocalypse Now, am I right? What even is the runtime of this thing, 3 hours and 2 minutes? Beautiful. Still, that will still feel shorter than Megalopolis, that’s for sure

Never actually seen this but I always hear tell it’s good. In fact, to quote from the Eldest Son; Stake Land “is a banger” and “almost made [him] cry”. So there you go, solid recommendation there

Never mind how this film was influenced by East Rider, let’s discuss how this influenced one of Primal Screams best albums. Kowalski off that album is a certified banger and lifts loads of samples from the film. And really, Easy Rider is an LSD film whereas Vanishing Point is all about that speed baby, there’s only 2 years between the films but the counter culture mindset has totally shifted. But man, what a great album!