The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2023 #02

A classic of the Hollywood Golden Age, then another film which always seemed to be a film your parents liked? I don’t know, its not really one for me but defo one you could sit down to watch with the older members of your family which is always nice

If you happen to follow me on Bluesky then you may have read about the recent few days when I was really properly sick, like properly sick. And post vomiting I spend a day not moving around much and ended up watch a couple of the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films, one of which was The Scarlet Claw. They’re aged fairly well, and this one is a decent romp with Rathbone continuing to establish how people would see Homes for the next 50 or so years.

Can’t argue with this; Whoopi Goldberg on the run from the mob, having to hide out with a bunch of nuns in a run down San Fransisco neighbourhood? Nuns who sing? And they all become amazing pals whilst Harvey Keitel tries to hunt her down using corrupt police contacts? Films are mad sometimes.

BBC4 continues its mad run of old timey Christmas Specials, this time bringing out Steptoe and Son and Yes Minister. You do wonder, when they’re picking out old Top of the Pops if they have a list of shows that they really properly cannot air again and how many times they check it before loading up the tape for broadcast. Could you imagine they put in the wrong one?

High Noon is a classing so it stands to reason that a behind the scenes documentary will be fun to watch. Fingers crossed!

I think this is the first time this list of Strategy Guides that we’ll need to do the old ‘separate art from the artist’ 2 step thanks to the presence of Mel Gibson, ex Hollywood Royalty and current major douchebag. Putting that to one side, he’s amazing in this, the film that arguably made him an A List Star. His chemistry with Danny Glover is brilliant, the script is just as good ending up with the definitive buddy cop action film.

Look, I’m not one to recommend any old rubbish for the Christmas TV Strategy Guide, the whole idea is to pick out the cream of the crop or the hidden diamonds that are worth checking out. But here we have an hour long (hour long!) cooking show about air frying your Christmas dinner. Its probably going to be rubbish, but you have to admit you’re strangely compelled to watch it right? Because that was my emotional journey when I saw it in the schedule

Talking about strangely compelling, these shows where they go into an unspeakably large building and watch like enough food to feed literal millions of people fly past on conveyor belts. The only bad mark on this one is that I don’t think it has Greg Wallace in it, but after the majesty that was The British Miracle Meat earlier this year the guy can take a well deserved rest

Having a channel called Great Movies opens you up to all kinds of comments when you you show a movie that isn’t actually great, but here they live up to their name; its a cracking, well, heist films with plenty of twists and turns and Gene Hackman being as good as he’s ever been. Also keep an eye out for one of the best ever ‘just about to kill the bad guy lines’ you’ll ever see

Time for an early Arnie film, with the Austrian Oak firmly in the ‘don’t let him talk too much’ period. But thats okay here as he has massive muscles with even massiver swords to swing around so we’ll let him off on the lack of banter.

Cracking show this, so well worth a stay up late binge watching session.

The best, and indeed last, of the Die Hard sequels. Honestly, this is such a good film that probably peaks with the stunning taxi car chase through Central Park. A great villain helps things tick along as does the excellent banter between Willis and Jackson. It was good that they didn’t make any more after this

This is most likely a terrible film, but thought I would recommend it as I remember seeing the VHS cover in the video library and it spooking the flip out of Little Phil. Honestly, I could barely walk near the horror section as a kind, did anyone else find it terrifying? Hopefully at least someone else did

I’ve a big soft spot for the GI Joe films despite part of me still wanting them to be called Action Force. The first was a cracking dumb film, honestly its so dumb but so endearing at the same time. The second was alright, but leant into the straight action side of things when it should have doubled down on the dumbness. This one again leans to the straight action side, but isn’t afraid to start going on about ninjas clans and magic jewels and such. I had a great time with it, but seemingly no one else did looking at the box office. Still, they showed up at the end of the last Transformers film so fingers crossed we’ll get another film at some point.