The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2022 #14

For a run of films on a Bank Holiday, this list has to be near flawless. I mean look at it; twee 80s sci-fi, then 2 kids films that try really hard not to be kids films, then the definitive 80s kids sweary caper film, then Beetle Juice and then both Gremlin films. Both of them! 12 hours of film fun fully laid out for you, an outstanding piece of TV scheduling and a great way to start the new year

If you DO want to watch anything else, then you have a couple of great musicals back to back. And yes, you have Dirty Dancing as well if you really need it there. I mean, it can’t hold a candle to the first 2 films, especially Singin’ In The Rain as thats a masterpiece, even the weird surreal bit with the guy singing into a megaphone. Any film that goes “I have an idea for something!” and then dissolves to a 10 minute wordless ballet sequence has got some big brass balls that need to be acknowledged.

The ultimate folly of Golden Age Hollywood, where the story of the making of the film is probably better than the film itself. It had a huge cast, thousands of extras, all the money is on the screen so perfect for a Bank Holiday afternoon

Thankfully not the modern remake, this remains a sci-fi masterpiece even with the twist ending now an intrinsic part of pop culture.

A pair of films that when presented you go “huh, they made that film?” and thats about it. Keanu Reeves as a samurai? You know what, fine. He gives good action, lets go. A bald Matthew McConaughey fighting a dragon in ruined London? Pass the popcorn, why not.

So Raiders is perfect, Temple of Doom less so, so what about the third film? We’re back to near perfection if we’re honest; back to Nazis but with extra Indy’s Dad. The only thing that lets it down is that the villain is a bit weak, so whilst the punching of Nazis is great it quite doesn’t get to the heights of Raiders but its awfully close

Ron Howard’s quality of work can swing wildly from great to really rubs (Apollo 13 to The Da Vinci Code essentially) but thankfully this one is on the good end of the spectrum. Whilst all the recent chat has been about Peter Jackson’s Beatles doc Get Back there’s still space for this one as this is set at the beginning of their career during their touring years. And great it is too, with some archival footage that scrubs up beautifully

Its getting late in the day so must be time for a big dumb film starring The Rock. Whats that? He’s in a skyscraper that gets set on fire and there’s a heist involved? Awesome, hand me those Roses and lets go

A couple of years ago this was the film that was supposed to save the cinema business, and now here it is on TV. The circle of life continues unabated. And its certainly a step up from Spectre but again suffers from a villain that just isn’t that good. Maybe its just me, maybe its just my thinking that if anyone deserved an Oscar that for playing a rock and roll star it was Taron Egerton for Rocketman which was a far superior film and that Malek’s performance in Bohemian Rhapsody was showy without any real depth thanks to the overt creative controls from the surviving members of Queen. Anyway. Bond. Its good!

I do enjoy these run of films where you see a Dirty Harry film paired with one of its descendants. The Enforcer is where the barrel was started to be scraped so it’s not a fair comparison, also the loose canon cop in the modern film is of the sci-fi variety with a good dash of Lethal Weapon’s Riggs tragic backstory. Maybe Dirty Harry should have travelled through time? That would have been good.

Series 1 and 2 of this show were absolute belters, if of the tough to watch variety. Its been ages since the last series so hopefully it will maintain the quality and maybe not be quite as bleak as parts of the first 2 series. I mean, I very much doubt that but we’ll see

John Williams, am I right? What a legend. He’s made some astounding music in pretty much all of his films so any excuse to listen to them for an hour or so. Also, whilst I’m thinking about, it you fancy a real deep trip into the Star Wars music in particular then would really recommend this podcast and the next two episodes that go into it brilliantly

Does this count as a pre-cursor to the modern True Crime obsession? I mean, maybe? It was a bit vilified at the time, much in the same way that the recent Netflix show about Dahmer was criticised. Its a good film, Tony Curtis very much playing against type. Last time we saw him he was in a knockabout comedy, which this very much is not