The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2022 #10

Granted, starting the day with a moody film noir from the late 40s isn’t exactly one that’ll get the kids racing out of bed, but this is still a classic. Feels right that its randomly on one morning during the Christmas Holidays, sat there waiting for the right young mind to watch it and get totally entranced

More Carry Ons! They really pumped these out back in the day, considering we’ve not had a film repeated so far. Today you have the one with probably the most iconic scene of all the Carry Ons, at least if you live in the UK. Yep, its Barbara Windsor in a bikini doing exercises, the high point of British Culture. Honestly, we shouldn’t have left, they should have kicked us out. Its no less than we deserve

In all honesty, it was a bit of stretch putting these characters in a feature film but the magic of Aardman just about pulls it off. Its your typical daft Wallace & Gromit plot with vegetables and rabbits and all that which makes for a great film. Twist my arm, though, and I’ll tell you that Pirates! is the best Aardman feature film with this a fairly close second

Pixar always had a weird relationship with sequels, with initially not really wanting to do any but then when they did absolutely smashing them out of the park. Toy Story 2? Monsters U? Cars 2 wait, no, not that one. And then Dory, which somehow manages to get a sequel out of Finding Nemo, a film that tells a brilliant story all perfectly wrapped up. Well, almost, because they found a way to get this film out of it which has all the heart you’d expect from a Pixar film at the top of their game

Two stars is harsh on this, although the plot isn’t from the top drawer or anything. But the design is brilliant, with Tartakovsky drawing out a brilliant physicality from the characters that feels in places like the best 2D animation. On that front, its a great film defying my “if Adam Sandler is speaking with a weird accent then its a terrible film” rule

Another Disney belter, this one does a hell of a lot right; you’ve got great songs, a superb art style, a great cast. It all boils down to the eternal question: Is it better than Tangled? And the answer is not quite, but its not too far off at all

This film gets forgotten an awful lot but its a really properly good swashbuckling action film; Banderas has rarely been better, Hopkins is brilliant, Zeta-Jones matches them both, the action is top notch all making for a great film. Martin Campbell, when he’s on form, really knows his stuff as evidenced with GoldenEye and Casino Royale. And, yes, he did direct Green Lantern but no ones perfect

No date of release on this but the fact that it says ‘classic’ implies that this is the original not the sub-par remake. No, you want this one with a burly sweaty Gene Hackman shouting at God whilst Ernest Borgnine watches on in a t-shirt thats at least two sizes too small

Annoyingly not on the day that we had the other Arnie comedy films, but we have it now anyway; its probably the best Arnie comedy, which you can put down to the chemistry between him and Danny DeVito. I mean, the great script also helps because their chemistry sure couldn’t save Junior a few years down the line

Of the DC films that followed the disaster that was Justice League this probably is my favourite. The character of Shazam, previously Captain Marvel (or The Big Red Cheese by some of his detractors) was previously bigger than Superman (Elvis got his hair style from the spin-off character Captain Marvel Jr) so the character connecting with an audience shouldn’t be surprise. Its a great power fantasy story that easily connects with kids; say a magic word and you’re a grown up superhero, brilliantly simple. The film plays with that really well, has a good villain and has a great heart at the centre of it. Much better than the Snyder films that preceded it

A heaven and hell combination here; the final Dirty Harry film that really should never of happened, even if the shot of Eastwood with a harpoon canon is petty cool. And then you get what remains his most iconic role with The Man With No Name. Two ends of the Eastwood anti-hero; the role that started it all, and the one he should have moved on from years ago

Yes its at Christmas but that doesn’t make it as good as the first film. Its a bit too unfocused, a bit too flashy compared to the first. By itself, it would be a really really good action film but it withers somewhat in the shadow of the film before and the one film after it. And I say one as there are only three Die Hard films, everyone knows this

What a film this is. Even if you put Pacino and De Niro to one side, the rest of the cast is brilliant and can more than stand up to the two main guys on the poster. Its probably Mann’s best film, despite my heart saying Manhunter, and its easily one of the best crime thrillers of the 90s

Care for another inappropriate double bill? How about a knockabout comedy sequel entirely based around a really bad pun and ‘De Niro being serious is funny!’ and then one of the definitive horror films of the 1960s? Back to back? Nope, it makes no sense at all

Another landmark horror film to end the night with, in the top 3 of the Stephen King adaptions at the very least. Best of the horror films? Its this or The Shining isn’t it? And this one does have John Travolta going for it, an evil Travolta granted but he still has great hair