The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2022 #09

I’m legally obliged to mention the first film here, as its some how one of my eldest’s favourite films. Why? No clue, but there you go. And Rio is alright, getting up towards the top tier of the DreamWorks films

Now, do I secretly wish this was the Disney film? Obviously, thats a banger but this is still good; Errol Flynn’s moustache, big bold technicolour and mad stunts that still look great to this day. Well worth getting up early for

You want some Carry On films? Then over the next few days you’re getting pretty much all of them; the quality today is very uneven with Don’t Lose Your Head probably the best of today’s picks. Also, I’m assuming that I don’t need to give a content warning for these films as they all start with Carry On so you should know what you’re getting with these

More family fun! Two very different flavours for you; modern stop motion animation and then a pure slice of the 80s. The first film is probably the best, NeverEnding Story arguably doesn’t stand up these days without the watcher having a decent amount of nostalgia for it, and if you weren’t traumatised by that scene with the horse the first time around

A triple bill for you; a big foot stomping 1950s musical, Hook we’ve already talked about but thought I’d include it here anyways as it meant I didn’t have to spread this over two paragraphs, and then The Goonies to bring it home with some proper 80s nostalgia. And a lot of swearing. Seriously, there’s way more than you’d expect in film with a load of kids in it

I bloody love this film, but if you have any kind of an aversion to Wes Anderson then you won’t be getting on with it at all. Which is such a shame, as it looks great, the voice cast are all brilliant and the score is fantastic. Its just a great film, but with a very specific aesthetic that isn’t for everyone

There seems to be a thread of 80s nostalgia through today, which is why it makes perfect sense that ET is on today as well. The definitive Spielberg film, its a near faultless combination of special effects and emotion. I just wonder if it will be that version where they took out all the guns and replaced them with walkie talkies and that. I’m pretty sure Spielberg rolled back the changes he did for that version but you can never be sure what the TV stations have on their shelves

Here’s a roller coaster for you; Butch Cassidy is an era defining film, coming out in the same year as The Wild Bunch and Easy Rider. The next film however, can be described as era defining but in the "‘big budget special effect films of the late 90s blown out of the water by The Matrix” era. Can’t complain about Brendan Fraser though, he does his best Indy impression and carries a good amount of the film on his shoulders

80s fest continues with this film, arguably a sequel at least 2 years too late. And it loses a great deal from the first; the comedy feels more by the numbers, the score is much worse and no one smokes at all. It still ticks the boxes when it comes to the ghost busting though so can’t complain too much

Is this the greatest double bill we’ve had so far? Two weather based disaster films back to back? Bill Paxton versus a tornado? Gerard Butler versus all of the weather? Be still my beating heart!

A night of Tom Cruise on Film4 sandwiched between 2 very disparate films; you watched the first Sister Act a few days ago so you may as well watch the sequel. And whoever at the Radio Times gave Escape From New York 3 stars needs to be given their marching orders. Its amazing! The score! The eye patch! A number 1! Of the Cruise filling, Ghost Protocol is the obvious highlight, this being the one where the Cruiser climbs on the outside of the Burj Khalifa hotel. The other two are decent if fairly throwaway films but worth a watch. Still though, three stars? It makes no sense.

Two comic book films for you here; despite Andrew Garfield’s superb turn in the recent Spidey film No Way Home, going back and re-appraising this film will still show that its not great at all. The script totally doesn’t get what Spider-Man is supposed to be so whilst it looks great it falls over miserably at the actual Spider-Man bits. And as for Aquaman? Its another tale of a film where the lead is well cast (seriously, Momoa does give good superhero) but the film around him lets everything down despite it looking really good in places. Thats its biggest success, getting away from that desaturated look that pervaded the Snyder led films which says a lot really

A big daft musical that comes at you at 1000 miles per hour with loads of songs and dance numbers thrown around like confetti. It just about manages to stay together under the weight of its own style, although its definitely a bit creaky in parts. And thats just not referring to Ewan McGregor’s singing voice

Now here’s a double bill for you; the fourth Dirty Harry film, the one that gave the world “go ahead, make my day”, is a by the numbers violent loose cannon cop action film. But from that anti-hero, decades later, we end up with Jason Statham as Chev Chelios in the sequel to Crank. You can’t quite draw a straight line from one film to the other, but without Eastwood popularising the anti-hero as a box office draw then we probably don’t get either of the Crank films. I’ll let you decide if that is a good thing or not, but you can probably guess which side of the fence I land on

The whole ‘done in one shot’ film thing isn’t a packed field and tends to seem a bit show-offy when its done, but it works very well in this film. The way that you start with these characters and then get dragged through this whole experience with them is carried off brilliantly, although arguably I’d say it peaks in the opening sequences in the trenches. Still, its a great modern war film that truely shows you the horrors that the people at the time went through

A great documentary this, one that takes you through the career of that other Beatle, the one who wasn’t John or Paul or Ringo. Yes, thats a reductive comment but it normally gets a laugh. George was a top drawer musician who would have been much more of a influence on his generation, if he wasn’t in a band with the two guys who were just that bit better. The doc explores that and is a really good watch so make some time for this one

Sean Connery had a lot of great lines over the course of his career, from Bond to Indy’s dad but he gets one of his top 3 ever in this film. It is a course the almighty “he brings a knife, you bring a gun” speech that cemented his return to the top of cinema after a few dodgy years post Bond. Cracking film this