The Christmas TV Strategy Guide 2021

Back to back (ish) Disney Pixar here; I do think Frozen is a bit overrated (Tangled is far superior) but its still really good, and Brave felt a bit overlooked when it was released. Out of the two I’d prioritise Brave but thats probably because my eldest threw up after he saw Frozen at the cinema so it keeps giving me flashbacks to that. I know thats not the films fault but what can you do?

A pretty good run of films here if you want to veg all day; Galaxy Quest is a genuine classic, Brewster’s Millions is probably the best of the early 80s Pryor vehicles, Jewel of the Nile is a fun adventure romp (although the first film Romancing The Stone is better) then you get Arnie’s first attempt at a proper comedy that still really works. And then Rocky V. Look, they can’t all be gold, rough with the smooth and all that

Considering it’s Christmas Eve, you probably should watch something properly Christmassy and it doesn’t get much more Christmassy than this

Nice pair of family films here, one of an 80s vintage then one of the post-Potter “we need a film series based of a load of books” vintage. The Narnia films were all good but never seemed to get a big audience so they’re all well worth going back to

This is some double header, two top drawer Hitchcock films with the second one being above top drawer, so it’s on the top of the drawers in pride of place for everyone to see

Alright, so Channel 4 probably nails the run of programs to veg out to on Christmas Eve. Just look at how much Christmas you get here; It’s A Wonderful Life is probably more of a US tradition but its still as Christmas as Santa’s beard, then you get two doses of Snowman then Home Alone. Very nearly faultess

If you need a palate cleanser after the Christmas stuff then this film with Dustin Hoffman versus a virus should sort you out

Yet more music nostalgia, although the fact that 2002 is in the past and is NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO makes me sick. And then something about Christmas music, I don’t know, I’m still hung up on the twenty years ago thing

Further proof that we can’t have anything nice, here’s the Father Ted Christmas Special. It’s genuinely one of the best bits of TV comedy ever, only now you have to deal with the fact that one of its creators is a massive douchebag which is putting it very mildly. If you can come to terms with that, then enjoy

More Kingsman on Film4 with this film stretching the conceit just beyond breaking point. The fact that the next film is a prequel is probably for the best but we’ll see when it gets released, if the cinemas stay open. Upgrade is a great film, feels like something that you’d have found on a shelf in the video library in the early 90s

Excalibur is a pretty nuts film, one those that makes you think “how the hell did this get made?” so a documentary about the making of the film looks like it would be pretty interesting

As Christmas Eve draws to a close time for some spookiness with this ghost story. It being from Mark Gatiss bodes well, just don’t get too scared okay?

If you DO get too scared then get this on your TV; JCVD’s glorious mullet should immediately calm you down and take you back to a simpler time when he was one of the biggest action stars on the planet

1970s electro pop? Its worth a watch just on that alone, surely